The Muse's Corner
by The Philosopher of Arena Football
Sweet Disorder
There is a branch of mathematics known as dynamical Systems Theory. This branch has a sub-branch known as Catastrophe Theory. Catastrophe theory studies phenomena characterized by sudden shifts in behavior resulting from tiny changes in circumstances. The sudden collapse of a bridge from the additional weight of a bicycle, for instance, or a house of cards tumbling from the touch of a feather.
So that is where my thoughts were as I was watching the Chicago Game last Sunday on ESPN. For it is only Catastrophe Theory that can explain what happens when the play is broken, all practice becomes irrelevant, and the mysterious happens. Specifically, I am speaking of course of Philadelphia’s Mike Brown and his amazing kick return. For there is no other way to explain the wonderous thing he did.
It was the second quarter, with Philly down 13 to 14. The kick was deep, and took a weird bounce off the net and an even weirder bounce off the turf. But Brown turned his back to the onrushing defenders, caught the ball, and then magic happened. He spun around and cut to his right, eluding the first defender. Then he cut back to the left, then the right, and then finally to the left again, leaving an entire whorl of catastrophically collapsed defense in his wake. No doubt the Chicago Rush had practiced covering kick-off returns countless times. And it is eight guys against only one. So how did the entire special teams defense fail?
The play was completely broken, but Brown somehow made it the whole 54 yards to get the TD. Now it is that sudden, unpredictable collapse of the defense that can only be described through the mathematics of Catastrophe Theory. And I know my meager powers of explanation lack the capacity to fully convey the importance of what I saw. However, the Muse, of course, knows what I marvel at. She sang thus:
"There is a sweet disorder in the game
That kindles a love that is quite insane,
Like when a kick returner is hunted like a frog
Yet triumphs by breaking through defending fog,
Or when a QB scrambles to the boards,
And gets a TD as his choice reward.
A goalline fumble is just fine
But returned all the way becomes divine.
We know to throw off the back foot is wrong,
But when it works we sing a joyous song!
Broken visions bewitch much more I say,
Than chalked plays too precise in every way."
So what is the muse trying to say this time? Enjoy the expected plays. Enjoy the unexpected. And then enjoy that rarest joy of all, the catastrophic!
Paul Celmer, aka The Philosopher of Arena Football, is a member of the Arena Football League Writers Association and a founding member of Arena Football Online. Contact Paul at pcelmer@arenafootballonline.com
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