ESPN and the Problem of Evil
The Philosopher of Arena Football
Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is the question that I pondered as I watched ESPN's inaugural broadcast
featuring the New York Dragons and the Dallas Desperados. Here was our game
highlighted in the national spotlight. The production was excellent. The dual
Mikes (Mike Greenburg and Mike Golick) were knowledgeable and entertaining
in their excellent coverage. They interspersed their calling of the game with
useful reminders about the rules and other differences from the outdoor game.
And ESPN's camera work was also first-rate. The camera pulled back for
whole-field perspective when needed, while also at times focusing in tight
to allow us to see the darting eyes and facial grimaces of the players. This
was the AFL's chance to shine.
The only problem was that this first game was one of the worst games of recent
memory. Leon Murray and the Dragons were completely shut down by the stifling
Dallas defense. And on the other side of the ball, the Dragon defense was impotent
against a Fu-Manchu mustache wearing Clint Dolezal and his old compadre Marcus
Nash who scored seemingly without effort. How many AFL games end up 60 to 7?
Not many. And none are very watchable. I felt sorry for ESPN and this unfortunate
twist of fate. But they wisely left that game at halftime for the exciting
Brigade-Rush match-up covered with wonderful enthusiasm and light-hearted banter
by Merrill Hoge and Ron "Jaws" Jaworski.
So still I wondered, why do bad things happen to good people? This is one
of the most ancient questions of philosophy. Luckily, the Muse is an ancient
media outlet. And if there ever was a question for the Muse, the problem of
evil was it. Echoing off the unadorned cinder-block walls of the Raleigh train
station, she sang thus:
"When double-digit Grand Underdogs
Flood down in flames the Crush--
And the heralded champion Rush
Find their opener turned to Mush--
And even the Barbarian Sippio's
Fifth battle to the land of End
Is not nearly enough for
into overtime the game to send--
The good in the world seems far away
And the cloak of night never will reveal day.
But, when there is no time left on your clock
You can look to Steve Videtich
To VooDoo-kick the oblong rock.
And when the game fails
Where the doubled Mikes meet--
Switch to the Jaws
To snatch victory from defeat."
With these hopeful words ringing in my ears, I left the Muse's lair,
ready to face the world again.
Paul Celmer, aka The Philosopher of Arena Football, is a member of the Arena Football League Writers Association and a founding member of Arena Football Online. Contact Paul at pcelmer@arenafootballonline.com
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