The Muse's Corner
By the Philosopher of Arena Football
April 20, 2007
The Art and Science of Interception
As I was drinking my third YooHoo of the evening, I found myself again contemplating
quantum mechanics. This strange science of the super-small describes things
like the motion of atoms and the orbits of electrons. But the problem is
electrons do not orbit like the moon does the earth. Oh no, these quantum
orbits do not change in any smooth spirals such as planets and moons do.
Instead, when they either gain or lose energy, these electrons “leap” from
one quantum orbit to the next. Not only that, but because of Heisenberg’s
uncertainty principle, one cannot measure both the position and momentum
of an electron at the same time. They move in very odd ways.
And it is this quantum leap that permeates Arena Football that I wish to
investigate. There is something supremely elegant and amazing about that
discontinuous leap that changes an entire game. I am talking about those inexplicable
events such as fumble recoveries for TDs, kickoff returns for TDs, and the
ultimate—the interception. Nothing changes the momentum of a game like
picking off the pass of a QB looking for a receiver in the endzone. Everyone
is expecting a score, but then in an inexplicable instant, interception causes
everything to be reversed. Offense becomes defense, defense offense, and
fate herself is turned upon her head.
And this year, there are a rarefied few defensive backs that have feasted
five times upon opposing quarterbacks through week 7: Colorado’s Chris
Angel; Columbus’ Jerald Brown; Dallas’ Bobby Keyes, who turned
one of his picks into a TD; and the ultimate-- Philadelphia’s Edie
Moten who turned two of his INTs into TDs.
What gives these players the power to turn the fickle tide of battle and
snatch points from thin air? Once again, only the Muse knows, as she sang
thus:
“The pressured QB’s eyes
May dart from board to pole--
Yet there is one that can discern
What is the true goal.
This is the one that dares
To leap into the unknown--
And jump the post route
unforseen in the endzone.
In that instant the entire game flow
is forced into interruption,
And time hangs suspended
While the crowd roars eruption.
There is a quantum magic of perception
That powers the magnificent: Artist of Interception.”
The Muse seems to indicate that predicting the next interception is no easier
than predicting the next quantum leap of an electron. Who will leap next
up from the unknown to break a Quarterback’s heart? The only way to
know is to use all your skill to observe the games.
Paul Celmer, aka The Philosopher of Arena Football, is a member of the Arena Football League Writers Association and a founding member of Arena Football Online. Contact Paul at pcelmer@arenafootballonline.com
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