The Muse's Corner
By the Philosopher of Arena Football, Paul Celmer
Welcome to the Muse's Corner. Here you will find material that is -- how should I say -- a bit different.
If you like your fantasy arena football analysis as clear as Mississippi moonshine, STOP right now. Do not read any further. But if you seek out realms beyond the common and wish new insight, you must be willing to probe the murky turbulence of the mystic river delta. For it is only there in the dark places where soot, soil, sand, and water intermingle chaotically will you find the hidden fissures teeming with new life.
What I offer you is a bargain: once a week I will make the dangerous trek to the lair of the Muse of Arena Football. This dark and dangerous place located in the very bowels of the Raleigh train station is the home of the Muse. And once a week I will retrieve for you some of the writing the Muse posts upon the wall.
So let us begin our journey with an invocation:
Sing O Muse of Balls and the Man --
Of those pros who toil unsung,
Yet whose issue is poetic prose
Written in a four walled ledger,
The defiants who dare to dance
Upon fields of artificial green
Even while the Boss-man yells at them:
Get a real job!
Outside is no place
To throw and catch
When ice-bound Winter
Keeps floozy Primavera
In his embrace,
Or while the burning Taskmaster of Summer
Drives his relentless chariot
Roughshod over the un-domed sky.
He who treks
The inner Arena
Knows a joy
Ungoverned
By the whims and whorls
Of external worlds.
Like Christmas,
The draft of a sweet wind
Comes but once a year.
So come Jackson, Dolezel,
Bonner, and Blitzen?
All you Gorns transformed to superhuman Elf
Prance in the heads of Fantasy's Analysts
And make an uncoy playmate
Of Time herself.
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