Ask ArenaBoy
By Richard Giorgi
Snatch the pebble from my hand
You may not want to believe it, but I'm a nice guy.
Each year we muster up the necessary people to form an Arena Fantasy League, recruiting people into the spots left vacant by uninterested owners. This, of course, leaves us with a rookie or two in our scopes, easy prey due to lack of knowledge, easy wins on the road to the crown, ripe apples fallen from the Arena tree each year for those of us carrying bushels.
But that's not the goal, is it? Easy wins against unprepared opponents are not for me. I have morals. I have scrumples. And I now have losses. The man who said "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game" was probably just what that infers. A loser.
I normally prep the rookies, schooling them on draft strategy for an Arena Fantasy League, since most of them are used to the outdoor game, where running backs determine whether you scream on like a banshee or choke up the feeble cry coming from the Running Back by Committee Zone. In Arena, if you care about running backs, you'll end up shaking like a leaf on an Autumn tree.
So my job is to advise, to make sure their Arena experience is pleasant. That they win just enough to keep them competitive, but not enough to knock me from my throne. That they understand the importance of a killer OS, realize that WRs who also make tackles will bring them more points and scout defensive gems from a defenseless league.
Last year I schooled a rookie in certain facts, as I see them, about Arena Fantasy Football. Leave the QBs until later when you're picking 6th. Get yourself a good OS, a few great WRs, leave the RBs until later and while everyone else has their QB, you can wait rounds and rounds to get yours. Get the best DS and you have an instant edge. I also taught him to never believe an injury report that concerns Marcus Nash.
I did a fine job with him last year - he nabbed Nash, Thabiti Davis and Kevin Ingram with his first three picks, gobbled up Rashad Floyd and got Andy Kelly way later -- and I battled him all year long, right down to the Arena Bowl. This year, he remembered those lessons and his record proves that sometimes you should hold something back for yourself.
This year, I schooled two more rookies, along with a returning fantasy leaguer who had taken a year off the Arena game.
In Week 1, I went down under 85 combined points from Nash and Ingram. In Week 3, the returning owner beat me with Matt D'Orazio and a 50-pt week from Damien Groce, both of whom I had counseled onto his team after he spent his #1 overall pick on Michael Bishop. In Week 4, I got beat by one of the rookies, as Greg Hopkins (yes, a recommendation) opened up on me for 41 points. Sitting at 0-4, I was not a thrilled as I thought I would be with my proteges.
It was really harshing my mellow, man.
In the classic television program Kung Fu, David Carradine never did quite master snatching that pebble from that bearded old guy's hand. He just kind of got lucky once.
Yet my pockets were picked clean of pebbles and I could barely clutch a rolled newspaper to fend off the onslaught. Seems that old guy kept a few secrets to himself which allowed him to keep most of his pebbles. However, he wasn't dumb enough to pick up that boiling cauldon with his forearms, was he?
Now it didn't help me that James Roe was out and Chris Jackson missed time and Dan Alexander mysteriously disappeared for that length of time, but I was hurting. I felt the power structure crumbling and like any decent bricklayer, I went about repairing it. I guess you could say that technically, I'd had it up to here.
The tide turned when I got a healthy team and won in Week 5. I survived Derek Lee's 58-pt outburst against me in Week 8 (another rookie recommendation). Coincidentally or not, that was 3 weeks after I stopped advising mid-season pickups and forced them to rely on the website for information. I kept an eye on the waiver wires, I watched the stats, I watched the games and I played the matchups.
And finally won a few games. Which makes me happy. And Happy Me is much more pleasant than Unhappy Me. It's just sort of disturbing that most of Happy Me is unveiled when I'm winning fantasy games. I'll be sure to discuss that with my therapist.
Now it's mid-season, I'm back to .500 and there is alot of time left to go in the fight for the final playoff spots. And I'm done advising teams I may have to play down the stretch. I'm done coaching guys into better lineups during the week I play them. I flew too close to the sun with wet wings and now they're all rusted up.
You're seeing a new me. The Me That Nobody Knows. My lips are sealed. Even if the rookie I'm playing this week has a kicker who was recently cut, a DS who hasn't played in a few weeks and is waiting on picking up a better OS from the waiver wire.
I'm not saying a word...
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